COVID-19 and Domestic Abuse

If you are a person living with intimate partner violence or other forms of abuse, be very careful when accessing legal resources on computers, smartphones or other devices to which your partner may have access. Be mindful of your digital hygiene. If you fear for your safety or that of your children, dial 911.  

A state of emergency has been declared in Ontario as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Businesses have closed their doors. Many may never reopen. Workers have been laid off with no clear sense when (or if) they will be recalled, and individuals are watching their retirement savings evaporate as financial markets collapse. On social media, those fortunate enough to be able to continue working remotely share pictures of makeshift home offices, and gallows humour is punctuated by earnest disclosures of serious anxiety as we watch in horror the tragedies unfolding in China, Italy and elsewhere.

These are difficult days even for those who are able to hunker down with supportive, healthy family members in relative financial security. For the more vulnerable in our communities, the radical social distancing measures that public health authorities have urged upon us may pose a greater (or at least a more immediate) threat than COVID-19 itself. Amongst the most vulnerable are those living with domestic abuse.

As Pamela Cross notes, “With increased social isolation, a woman is more vulnerable to her partner’s emotional and physical abuse. Forced round-the-clock contact with the abuser because both people are working from home increases opportunities for physical, sexual and emotional abuse.” In this post, we provide practical suggestions to help those living with intimate partner violence and other forms of abuse to stay as safe as possible in these unprecedent circumstances.

Resist isolation

Abusers flourish when they are able to isolate the targets of their abuse (most often women) from friends, family and other social supports. With workplaces, libraries, community centres and recreational facilities shut down, those living with abuse will find it more difficult than ever to stay connected. If you are a survivor of ongoing abuse, it is important to look for ways to stay in touch with others in your life.

Technology is a helpful tool to stay connected with friends and family, but you must be careful; your abuser may be monitoring your online, telephone and text communications (and/or those of your children) using software or other means that are difficult to detect. Even if you cannot communicate openly about your true circumstances, however, it is better to have superficial contact with others than to retreat into total isolation. Separate and apart from dynamics of abuse, prolonged loneliness is bad for our physical and mental health.

Individuals who have not been exposed to the coronavirus or travelled outside Canada recently can still leave their homes. Sparsely occupied outdoor spaces are considered relatively low risk for the transmission of coronavirus, provided you stay 2m/6ft away from others. Taking the dog for a walk or the baby for a stroll could provide an opportunity to get away from your abuser and reach out for help.

Although not part of the public health authorities’ official advice, some experts have suggested that two household could agree to socialize and support each other, provided no one in either household has been exposed to the virus and everyone agrees to strictly limited all other outside contact. This kind of domestic ‘twinning’ arrangement could be very helpful for survivors of ongoing abuse, particularly if the other household is nearby and could be used as a place of safety in an emergency.

Make a safety plan

Having a well thought out safety plan is critical for those experiencing intimate partner violence or other forms of abuse. The goal of safety planning is to put in place the resources (legal, social, financial, physical) needed to stay as safe as possible. Luke’s Place has an excellent workbook for women who are living with/fleeing domestic violence, which you can access here. Detailed information on safety planning is found at pages 15-41.

The COVID-19 emergency has made it more difficult to create a safety plan, not least because many of the agencies and organizations that assist survivors of intimate partner violence have closed their offices or are operating at reduced capacity. Nevertheless, there are practical things you can do to stay safer in your home:

• Practice good digital hygiene.

• Keep your phone charged at all times.

• Store important phone numbers in your address book, but try to commit the number of at least one person you can call in an emergency to memory.

• Back your car into the driveway if you can, as this may make it easier to flee if you have to, and try to hide a spare set of car keys and some cash somewhere safe but readily accessible if you have to leave quickly.

• If you are being attacked, avoid the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen contains knives and other implements that could be used to hurt you, and the bathroom has many hard surfaces and usually only one way in or out. If possible, try to escape to a room with a locking door (or heavy furniture you could place in front of the door) and a window large enough for you to get out if you need to.

• If you partner is often physically violent toward you, avoid wearing scarves or jewelry that could be used to choke you.

Don’t wait too long to seek support

Although we all hope that the current crisis will pass quickly, some experts are predicting that social distancing measures may need to be in place for as long as 18 months. If we fail to arrest the spread of coronavirus in our communities, it is not impossible to imagine that Canadians could eventually be subject mandatory quarantine similar to that which has been imposed in certain parts of Italy. This is a worst case scenario, to be sure, but it is fair to say that it will be some time before things get back to normal. Those living with intimate partner violence should keep this in mind when considering whether and when to access supports.

Although many agencies have shut their physical doors to the public, the good news is that legal and social service providers are working hard to put in place resources that can be accessed remotely. At the time of posting, available resources include:

• The Assaulted Women’s Helpline is available 24/7 at 1-866-863-0511;

• The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre is also has a 24-hour crisis line at 416-597-8808;

• The Family Law Information Centres (FLIC) provide information and guidance on the family court system. Information and Referral Coordinators (IRC) at the FLIC can give you information about services in your language and community, including counseling, help for abused women and men, addiction support, child and family support, interpreters, etc.

• Among other things, IRC can provide referrals to the Family Court Support Worker program, which provides direct support to survivors of domestic abuse. In Toronto, the Family Court Support Worker program is provided through the Barbara Schlifer Memorial Clinic.

• Child welfare agencies such as the Children’s Aid Society of Toronto will intervene if there is reason to believe a child is in need of protection. It is best to speak with a lawyer before contacting a children’s aid society, however, as these agencies have the authority to apprehend your children in certain circumstances. Indigenous children are dramatically over-represented in care and so special caution should be taken by Indigenous persons when dealing with child welfare agencies;

• The Advice and Settlement Counsel pilot program in the Superior Court of Justice at 393 University Avenue is organizing free telephone consultations with lawyers to advise parties on court services being provided during the pandemic;

• www.sheltersafe.ca/ontario provides listings for women’s shelters across the province (many of which provide services and can help you connect with resources, even if you are not staying at the shelter);

• www.familycourtandbeyond.ca, developed by Luke’s Place, is a rich source of resources for women experiencing abuse, particularly on safety planning and navigating the family courts;

• The Canadian Centre for Men and Families provides support to men experiencing intimate partner violence or other forms of abuse.

For the moment, the Ontario Court of Justice and Superior Court of Justice have suspended regular operations and are only hearing urgent matters. To determine if you circumstances are urgent, we suggest you consult with a lawyer if you can. During this crisis, anyone who self-reports as experiencing intimate partner abuse is welcome to contact us for a free 30-minute telephone consultation.  

If you know or suspect someone is being abused

The signs of abuse are not always easy to recognize but may include:

• Person appears nervous, withdraws or falls silent when partner is present;

• Conceals bruises or other injuries;

• Withdraws from social or professional activities;

• Discloses doubts about their own sanity;

• Has difficulty or fears making ordinary decisions without consulting partner;

• Does not have access to cash or debit/credit card.

If someone you know is (or was, before the pandemic) exhibiting these or similar signs, or if you have a well-founded ‘gut feeling’ that someone may be experiencing abuse, consider checking in with them from time to time during this crisis. Of course, social distancing makes it more difficult to provide support to people outside of our own households, but you may still be able to make contact by phone/text, email or through social media—or even by leaving a friendly note in their mailbox. Be mindful that the abused person’s communications may be monitored. Even if you are not free to make direct inquiries about your suspicions, however, the survivor will benefit from knowing you are there.

Family violence is not a private matter. Even in a pandemic, we should look for ways to support members of our communities who may be living with abuse. As one public health doctor aptly put it: “Let's drop this term ‘social distancing.’ It's not right. What we need right now is social cohesion, and physical distancing.”